My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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