I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
