dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
handjob tips. give me some.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize