you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Welp...herpes.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
