I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
that's an acceptable place to lick
He kissed a someone with a penis
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
