i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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