Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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