Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
