i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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