I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
