I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
