who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Randomize
