What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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