don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
