Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
