I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
