remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
