I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize