we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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