just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
