Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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