He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
