Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
