So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize
