these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Randomize
