we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I see more hoeing in ur future
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