lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Success! We fucked roommates!
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
