Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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