When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize