i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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