I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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