Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
