you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
