Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
