How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
