Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
