Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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