his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
