Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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