Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
be right there i have to get my cape
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize