I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
