He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
