margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
