We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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