i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
