K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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