hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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