Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
