So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
