I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
