Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
