In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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