imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
That accounts for only three of the penises
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize