you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
