Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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