Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Did I show you my penis last night?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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