I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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