Tell her she can't have a vagina
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
There's even glitter on my cock...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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