and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I AM VODKA MAN
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
