new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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