omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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