Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It's official drugs can't kill me
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
