This girl is more easily done than said...
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
