Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
